THE RETURN OF THE GOAT Years ago, I was standing around, Fat, Dumb and Happy ( FDH ), when the persistent Voice of a Change (VC) pounced on me. The VC spoke unbelievable words: "Manual has abandoned the goat as its mascot and has adopted the ram as the official mascot of the school."

FDH: "Why would they do that?"

VC: "The goat is not cool, and were living in a cool world these days where form always overtakes substance."

FDH: "For decades the noble goat has been the official mascot of Manual."

VC: "Not cool."

FDH: "What about the Navy? They have used the goat as long as Manual has used the goat, and no one has tried to change their goat to a ram."

VC: "Sorry, you are out of touch with reality."

FDH: "What reality? Since the Miter Club, as part of its initiation scheme, required candidates to walk around the school with a goat, the goat was numero uno." Because of uno cool the goat was pushed into the closet of ancient history. After centuries of neglect, from out of the red haze of forgotten glory, John Wright appeared and created the Old Goat Web Site, which is an amazing step in the right direction, but it was not without problems. There were generations of students and parents who never heard that Manual's Mascot was once the goat and they could not believe that, in our dotage, we returned to our roots.

Another question: How old do you have to be to be an Old Goat?‚

Well, John Wright has established some strict rules about age. No one under two years of age or over 120 years of age is eligible to be a goat. Other than that, everyone is welcome.

Also asked is whether this is strictly a Manual football location. Well, the focus is Manual football, but the site contains information about other schools and other sports, and it is sure to grow as time passes.

Does it cost anything to be a goat? Actually interest and attitude are more important than money. However, if you can turn loose of a few bucks it would help keep the site up and running. I send John $20.00 a year to defray the cost of keeping the site running, but any amount would be appreciated.

Also, you can join us at any athletic event and complain and moan with the rest of us. If you have a keen sense of justice, leave it at home. There is no justice for the Goats. However, if you want a stimulating discussion about the great teams of the past and unrealistic hope for the future, you have found the right group.

Don Heavrin